I've been divorced for about 18 months, I was separated for about a year in a half prior to the finalization of my divorce. Ending my marriage was the hardest decision I've ever made, who wants their marriage to fail? Currently, my life has some peace and stability and it has been achieved WITHOUT a man in my life. Yes, I date. Yes, I talk to men. But there is no one in my life that I see or talk to on a daily basis and I'm fine with that. I've come to realize that just because I'm okay with it doesn't mean squat to society.
I visit my parents in Arkansas frequently and I'm always asked, "Have you met someone yet?" "When are you going to bring someone home for us to met?" and other questions of that nature. When I inform them that I don't have a steady or that having a man is not one of my priorities, I get looks or disbelief and I think a few people think I'm crazy. Why does our society think that people have to have a mate? I read an interesting book by Myles Monroe titled, "Single, Married, Separated and Divorced" and in it he explains that not all of us were created for marriage, some of us are chosen to be single because there are some things in the ministry we can't do if we have a mate. He also talks about preparing for marriage and how we fail to do that. I didn't date much when growing up, so I had a fairytale view of marriage and it wasn't until I started having marital problems that I started seeking solutions to the problems. By that time, the damage had pretty much been done and divorce was basically my only option.
I like to use the saying, "a blessing in disguise" or even "when God closes a door, He opens a window" to describe what has transpired since my divorce. The past three years have seen me grow as a person. I now know who I am and I'm not looking for people or things to define who I am. It is because of that that I feel like I don't have to have a mate to complete me. I used to wonder why married couples would choose not to have children, but now I get it. I just wish the rest of society would too.
2 comments:
Just wanted to ask when your birthday is-- sounds like it is close to mine.
Also, there is nothing wrong with being on your own. I am completely supportive of your life and life style.
I think you are one of the bravest women I know. You've made a lot of changes to your life in the last three or four years. If anything you should be offered up as a role model to the young women of the world. So enjoy your single life... As much as you can be single when you've got others you are responsible for.
I completely agree! You've come so far, and are a strong, intelligent woman. I'm proud of you, QueenBee!
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