A thin line between love and insanity

It is now 7:25 p.m. on Thursday, March 29, 2007 and I feel like I'm at my wit's end. DQ, LP and LB are driving me insane. Lately, it seems LP is doing everything she is not supposed to do. Last night I walked past their room to find her combing her doll's hair with my comb and brush, adding my hair spray and hair accessories. I had to count to five and then handle the situation. Tonight I found her with all of my makeup about to give the same doll a makeover. What is going on? I have threatened her with the ultimate...a spanking. She begged for forgiveness and promised to never do it again. We'll see how it goes.

On to LB, who I thought was the most stable of us all. Lately he has been an accomplice to LP's crimes. Sunday afternoon, I found them ripping a hole in the window screen and hanging the stuffed animals out. I went on a tangent on how I'm not rich and that when they destroy things it costs money to replace. I think all they heard was blah, blah, blah because about two hours later they removed the screen and LP climbed out, walked around to the back door and came in the house with a "Hi Mama." Needless to say, I lost it. I've talked to him about his behavior and even had to pull out the big gun...call his dad. All is takes is one warning from their dad and LB pretty much will get back in line. We'll see how it goes.

Now on to the ultimate patience breaker...DQ. DQ came home with three C's on her report card last week. She pointed out that they were high C's, I pointed out that in our house a C is a C. I told her no more phone or television, she is going to have to buckle down and study to bring those grades up. They are now in the last grading period, so we need to make it count. We've had it out every night. She will come home, sit at the table and do her homework... in fifteen minutes flat. I tell her she needs to do something for the next 30 minutes and that is when the tamtrums start. She tries to explain that she has no more homework and I point out to her that she needs to do something, read a book, practice math, something. I try to point out that just because you have no homework doesn't mean you can't study. She refuses to listen, but I don't let up, she is going to learn to do things no matter how unpleasant. We'll see how it goes.

I love my kids with everything in me, but sometimes I wonder where the heck they came from. Is it karma, am I reaping what I've sown, what is it?! I'll just continue to do the best I can and hope they turn out okay. Again, we'll see how it goes.

Go Team!

For those who think parenting is easy and always have a point of view on how to handle situations, I say wake up! The past weekend has been one of the toughest for me. DQ tried out for the cheerleading squad and didn't make it. I know some people say "who cares?" but it's not something that is easily shrugged off. I know that some people think it's just a fluff thing, but as a former cheerleading I can tell those that it is a sport. I'd like to line critics up and have them show me a toe touch, a split or build a pyramid. But I digress...DQ practiced for three days with other candidates and the big day for tryouts was Friday afternoon. She practiced nonstop at home Thursday night, brushed teeth until they were pearly white, had her outfit packed and ready. Friday morning, we curled her hair and accented it with ribbons. I wished her much luck and reminded her to smile and show lots of enthusiasm. I realize that I'm just as excited as she is, I'm really cheering her on!

Friday afternoon, I drove by the school and they were still locked in the gym. After two more trips, I finally gave up and went home. DQ called and said they would finish up at about 7:00 p.m. I picked her up with nervous anticipation only to be told that the results would be posted at 9:00 pm. So we go home and try to eat and watch the clock. Finally at 9:00 we ride nervously to the school and have to wait another 30 minutes. DQ jumps out of the car and reads the list. As she turns to head back toward the car, I can tell by the expression on her face that she didn't make the team. After she told me she didn't make it, I asked her how she felt and she said disappointed. We ride home in silence and I'm trying to think of the right words. When I tell DQ that I tried out once and didn't make it, so I know how she feels, that seems to help. She then tries to rationalize why things happened as they did. When her friends call, she doesn't want to talk to them. I try to talk to her and explain her life will be busy with marching band anyway. I also tell her given our love of traveling, that maybe it's a good thing that she didn't make it. We go on to talk about other things she can do and she thinks track might be fun. So things seem to be looking up. It is then I explain to her that perhaps her behavior caused some problems for her. I remind her that her teachers gave input on the candidates. I remind her that I constantly tell her that there is more to school than making good grades. I've told her several times that behavior is a big factor as well as good grades. She has her aha moment and realizes that maybe mama does know a few things.

Saturday morning as we are on our way to Memphis to do some shopping, she jokes about being a cheerleader for three days and is still upset, but realizes life goes on. That afternoon after she talks to her dad and realizes that she can get a new pair of shoes is she decides to run track, life is grand! I remind her that her two cousins she idolizes are track runners and we've found a new sport. It is then that I realize that things have a way of working out because as a single mom, it would be pretty tough to get her to all the games, get her to camp, pay for uniforms and other hidden costs. We've discussed the situation from ever angle and we both learned a lot. DQ has learned that maybe her actions do have an effect on her life overall. She has learned that life isn't fair and sometimes it's not what you know, but who you know. She has learned that life does go on after a major disappointment. I've learned that I can't protect my children from disappointment. I've learned that sometimes silence is the best response. And we both learned that shopping sometimes is the best medicine!