Why I Love Hip Hop

Wednesday I watched the BET Hip Hop Awards and was impressed by what I saw. Performances were tasteful, awards were well deserved and it was only two hours. Interspered between the performances and awards, well known figures in the hip hop world and Black America gave monologues on why they love hip hop. Most memorable were MC Lyte and Michael Eric Dyson. These two challenged the emerging leaders to be responsible and give back. Gave young Black women advice on demanding respect with our voices and dollars. The awards show made me think about why I love hip hop, so here goes.

I was ten years old when the Sugarhill Gang recorded Rapper's Delight and I knew every word to that song. Then came Kurtis Blow, Whodini, Run DMC., and LL Cool J. and hip hop entered the mainstream. Back then lyrics were simple and somewhat comical. Afterall, Kurtis Blow talked about basketball, Whodini talked about friends and Run DMC set the trend for wearing unlaced Adidas. And who could forget LL's first rap ballard, I Need Love?! Hip hop was new, artists were expressing themselves in a new way and as a teen I loved it as much as the next person.

During my teen years, hip hop began to see the rise of subgenres. We had the political Public Enemy, KRS-One and Afrika Bambaataa, they urged us to fight the power and to stop the violence. Then NWA came out with what would ultimately define hip hop...gangster rap. Hip hop has been in the hot seat for quite some time, but the Don Imus incident intensified it and really brought it to the mainstream. It was time for the artists to take responsibility for the ruckus they helped create. And of course, they weren't going to take the blame for telling their side of the story.

In my quest to understand hip hop and this obsession with it, I began reading everything I could get my hands on and after reading arguments from both sides of the story, I have a newfound love and respect for hip hop and what it stands for. I may not agree with what they say and how it's said, but we cannot deny them the right to say it. As I began to read and listen to these artists, I realized what they say is no worse than what Ozzy Osbourne, Kiss and other rock bands promoted and sang of back in the day.

I caught an episode of Hip Hop vs. America on BET and realized these people are human and are only rapping and talking about life as they see it. I listened as these artists explained that many times the words they choose are out of frustration. They underscored the fact that all songs can't be happy go lucky because in their world, those days are far and few between.

So, I love hip hop for a variety of reasons. I love hip hop because you grew up with me, you express lifeas you see it...sometimes the truth hurts. I love hip hop because you set trends and have the power to change lives. You employ many, you inspire millions.

Books I read on the subject:

Beat, Rhymes, Life edited by Kenji Jasper and Ytasha Womack.

Third Coast by Roni Sarig.

Pimps Up, Hoes Down by T. Sharpley-Whiting.

When Chickenheads Come Home To Roost by Joan Morgan.

Ghettonation by Cora Daniels.

Also take a look at Hip Hop versus America on BET.

Why I Love Being a Mother...

Okay, I know I complain about my kids, but the truth is that I love them dearly and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I can't count the number of sacrifices that have made to make sure they have what they need. I can't count the number of sleepless nights I have endured to sit up and watch sick child. I can't remember a night when I haven't at least one of three in bed with me. Yes, it's true, a mother's love has no boundaries. Motherhood brings with it many frustrations, but I wouldn't trade the experiences and unconditional love for anything. Each of my three have their own personalities and traits that I love. Let me elaborate...

DQ: Has the strongest personality of the three. Her personality can be considered a blessing and a curse. I love the fact that she expresses herself so strongly. She is creative and some of her writings have blown me away. I've tried to encourage her to channel some of frustrations positively by writing. DQ loves to be around people and this has caused us to clash some because I'm the opposite. I try hard to understand her desire to be with the in crowd and why peer opinions are so important to her. I never was part of a clique, I just wandered from crowd to crowd during my junior and high school years. So I've had to explain to her that I trust her judgement in choosing good friends. DQ's personality is just like her dad's and his family, so when she came out in her winter coat this morning, I laughed until I cried. I then made her find a light jacket, it was cool, and she was dressed like it was twenty below. She is tall and slim and wears her clothes well. I can't remember when I wore a size zero. She is smart as a whip and I know she will eventually find her way.

LB: He is the most laid back kid I know. He just goes with the flow and hardly ever gets upset. He is patient and if I tell him to wait for something, he usually does. He can make a friend anywhere and will play with anyone. He is 100% boy and sometimes dealing with those traits is maddening. He loves his baby sister to death, it is the older one that he despises. I'm sure time will bring the two closer. He is with his dad now, and LP and I miss him so much! The first week after he left, DQ walked around in a daze and when we went to visit him, she followed him everywhere. She even sat on the bathtub as he was trying to bathe and he said, "it's okay, she can stay." He loves making good grades and is continually on the honor roll. He has the same third grade teacher that DQ had, and I'm sure Mrs. B notices the difference.

LP: Spoiled rotten. This came from a combination of folks...mom, dad, papa, big brother. LP is cute as a button and knows how to work her cute. She gotten everything from free biscuits @ KFC to free sodas at Taco Bell! Her personalty varies, depending on who she is around. So now I'm dealing with DQ, Jr. Her tantrums have ranged from not wanting cereal for breakfast to she is the only one who cleans up her room. This has led to a few rounds from the two of us. I refuse to go there with a five year old. But for the most part, LP is my little princess. She is the most loving child I have and often is in my space when I'm laying down or sitting on the couch. She sleeps with me most nights and I have to wake up a few times to pry her off of my back. She started school and it was a major adjustment. She had been going to our campus based center and basically got her way. Not only is Kindergarten a bit more structured, she has to deal with 23 others instead of 9 others. The first month was tough, but I see a major improvement. She is learning so much and it's a joy to watch her practice what she's learned and teach her stuffed animals their letters and numbers.

Yes, being a mother is rewarding. I've heard people say the time flies, but it really isn't going fast for me, I guess because I have learned to take it a day at a time, not rush their growth and developement and just enjoy the time I have with them. I'm sure in a couple of weeks, I'll post another confessions entry.

Why I Love...

About three years ago I read Why I Love Black Women by Michael Eric Dyson and in it he described the qualities black women possess that have caused him to have much respect. He described the qualities by using specific women to paint his picture. He spoke of Angela Davis, Maxine Waters and Kimberly Williams Crenshaw, some well known, some not. He does a wonderful job of taking their attributes and merging them into all Black women. A very good read, makes me proud to be a Black women, as I see myself in so many of the women in which he spoke.

It is in the spirit that my next few entries will be on Why I Love... My first will describe Why I Love Black Men.

When I first heard Angie Stone's Brotha, I fell in love with the lyrics. Her first verse,
"He is my King, He is my one
Yes he's my father, Yes he's my son
I can talk to him, cuz he understands
Everything I go through and everything I am
That's my support system, I can't live without him
The best thing since sliced bread,
Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch"

Man that describes what I feel! The second verse describes that often Black men are misunderstood and they are just trying to make it, like everyone else on this planet. I applaud Angie for recording such a marvelous song, especially when so many try to bring the Black man down. I think I'll elaborate a bit further on why that first verse speaks to me.

He is my King, my father is a Brotha. He is a strong man who despite many obstacles made it and perservered. I've never heard him complain once about the hand that he was dealt. He is a hard worker and has done whatever it takes to [legally] provide for his family. That is why I never bought into the myth that Black men are lazy, don't provide for their families and are materialistic. My dad taught me the meaning of hard work and that no one owes me anything.

He is my son. My son...mothers have always had a special bond with sons. For Black women it's even stronger because we know how hostile this world is to our babies. My heart went out to the mothers of the Jena 6 because that is one of my biggest fears. LB will be nine Friday and I just pray things will be better, but that's what many have prayed for the last hundred years. That is the main reason why I prefer for him to be with his dad...guidance and support. I understand what he will go through, but I don't know if I'd be able to guide him through it.

I think the rest of the verse speaks for itself. I mean who better to understand a person than someone who has lived it and is currently living it? The Black man...loved, feared, envied, hated, desired.

I love your strength, you make it despite the many obstacles faced in your way. I love your style, you have set and continue to set trends. I love your swagger, no matter what life hands you, you keep your head up. I love your hair...from the afros, the fades to the locs and the shiny heads. I love the many hues...caramel, chocolate, cocoa, peanut butter. I love your versatality...from the boardroom to the backyard barbeque, keeping it real. Yes, Angie, there is nothing better than his kiss, his hugs, his full lips and his touch. I, too, want the whole world to know that he's my black brotha and I love ya!

EBM...myth or reality?

So for those of you who read my cluck, cluck entry you know that there is a theory that there is a shortage of good Black men, described as the endangered black man, hence EBM. Joan Morgan the author of When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost doesn't think so and neither do I. Maybe it's something that someone invented so that women will lower their standards and just put up with any old crap. I'm new to this area and for a while I was beginning to think that maybe something was wrong with me because I didn't even get a second look from the men around, let alone a "hey baby, are you married?" But after talking with a few people and some of the guys from back home, I've learned the perhaps the problem isn't with me. For instance, one guy told me that if he saw me out with my kids he would assume that I was married or involved and for that reason would not approach me. Okay, that made me feel a tad bit better. Another suggestion was that maybe I intimidate men because all men need to feel like they are needed, afterall, I was reminded, I have a good job, a house and a car. Is there any need for a man? To that I said that if men feel that way, then they are truly twisted.

So I did what any normal person would do...I went to the online personals. My first stop was Yahoo and there are all types of weirdos on there, but I did meet some interesting men. In fact, I still talk to a couple of them. I got frustrated because several never responded to messages and I felt like I was wasting my money. Stop 2 was and still is blackpeoplemeet.com. Now this is where the fun is, I'm having great email conversations with people from all over the U.S. In fact, I've again realized that the world really is small. Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point talks about how closely we're all connected, and I've found that out to be true. One guy lives in Seattle, but is from Greenville, MS (about 30 minutes from my hometown.) Another guy lives in Houston but travels to Atlanta and Birmingham yearly and goes through El Dorado, AR. But I digress, this site is proof that there are still good BLACK men out there. I signed up for this site Monday and as of today, I've had over 200 profile views and I have 85 messages. Granted some of them are scrubs, but for the most part, I think they are good, honest, hardworking men. Even I was surprised with the number of single, never married, no kids 30 somethings. I love reading through the profiles and what these guys look for in a woman, some comments are too deep (even for me), some are amusing and some make you question their sanity. Anyway, I'm just looking for someone to talk to and just have fun and so far so good.

Cluck, cluck

Finished readingWhen Chickenheads Come Home to Roost by Joan Morgan about a week ago and I can honestly say, it is one of the best books I've read. Morgan wrote the book in 1999 and considered herself a feminist, her words are timeless and I only wish I'd read it when it was first published. I know, many are asking what is a chickenhead? Until I was enlightened by Morgan, my definition was a woman who will do anything to get and keep a man, often degrading herself with her "ghettoness." Morgan's definition also included women who sole purpose in life is to live off of a man (hers and/or someone else's). We all know a chickenhead, her life revolves around her and her appearance, IF she works, it's a retail store and then, only two or three hours a day. She doesn't have much going on inside her head and is basically an airhead. It seems it is what many Black men want...a trophy.

My reasons for loving this book go way beyond learning the definition of chickenhead, this book defines what it means to be an African American feminist. We all know race is a major factor in America, so it should be no surprise that the feminist movement did nothing to help promote Black women's cause. We have to deal with issues unique to our culture. Morgan writes about not wanting to be the "strong Black woman" anymore. It is this that has and continues to kill the spirit and existence of Black women. Black women have always had to hold it together...ourselves, our families, our communities, our churches and our men. As a race, it is a form of betrayal to speak negatively about another. I mean look at how we defend the OJs, R. Kellys and Mike Tysons. We wear the SBW badge as an honor when the truth is that we need to give it up and let the men take the responsibility that they spoke of during the Million Man March. We don't have to be strong to be strong!

Morgan also adresses the EBM (endangered Black men)theory. She has wondered why so many Black women lower their standards and even think they can change a man, oh yeah, it's because we've bought into the theory that most Black men are either on drugs, selling drugs, locked up or have too many baby mamas. I, along with Morgan, refuse to believe the hype. I think that comes from life experiences and maturity. When I was younger, I did lower my expectations and it caused much heartbreak and heartache. As I've gotten older, I've realized the "Secret", the law of attrativeness and the aura we put out is what we get back. Morgan also interviewed men who said that although chickenheads are what they currently have, they are NOT who they would marry. They claim they want a wife who is not shallow and have objectives and goals in life. So, I guess we have to wait for them to grow up and get rid of the chickenheads.