Some months ago, I wrote an entry describing why I love my job at Northwest. Well, recent events have caused me to again be thankful for such a wonderful job. Last week, my supervisor came and asked about summer plans and who was going to help me with my kids until my last day, May 31st. I told her about my ex not coming though (Confessions of a Single Mother, pt. 2) and she told me it would be okay to bring them with me on Thursday and Friday (the 24th and 25th). They could play on the computers, read books and watch movies in the viewing room. Afterall, the library will be closed until the start of summer school on the 30th and they wouldn't disturb anyone. Today, they got out at 12:00, so I met them at home and took them with me and LB had a blast on the computer. I practically had to pry him out of the chair. I promised tomorrow would be much of the same, so I'm sure he will be too excited to sleep tonight.
The kindness and generosity offered by my coworkers has made the transition to a new job, town and lifestyle so much easier. I share my triumphs and trials with them and they always support and understand me. Their words of encouragement have made such a difference. Again, I feel so fortunate and blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful folks.
Over the weekend, I had an interesting conversation with a younger cousin. She is from Springfield, Illinois and attends Tennessee State University in Nashville. She said when she finishes school she wants to stay in the South. In fact, she said Nashville is as far North as she wants to be. She said people in the South are different, in a good way. I tend to agree.
Thank you, my dear coworkers for all you are and all you do!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
T-shirts...$50, gas...$3/gallon, family fun...priceless!
I had a wonderful weekend! I spent time getting to know my Wilson family a little better. Since the death of my Aunt Rosie a little over two years ago, my family has rekindled the flame that had gone out. Aunt Rosie hosted the first Wilson/Drumgoole reunion in her yard, and that was it. It was at Aunt Rosie's funeral that I saw cousins I hadn't seen in over twenty years and I vowed to keep in better touch with my family. I've always been close to my mother's family and I felt awful that I hadn't taken any effort to get to know my dad's family better. My Aunt Laura hosted the first "renewal" reuion in Dallas two years ago. I can't remember why I didn't make it, but when I was told of the good time had by all, I declared I'd never miss another. Last year, my dad and I made the trip to Peoria, Illinois and had a wonderful time. The crowd is not very large, but the love is and that is what matters most.
Each year the reunion is hosted by someone in the family. The host is responsible for all PR, food, logistics and activities. My cousin VW requested that the date be moved from Memorial Day to the weekend before because the Crawfish Festival would be in town (Dermott, AR) and that would give us someone to do during the down time. VW was on the ball, we got save the date letters before the end of 2006. We got t-shirt order forms in February. She did a great job of building anticipation. She told us to expect three fun-filled days at her new house.
Because of work related issues, I wasn't able to attend the Friday night festivities, but I heard she had a cake for a cousin who recently retired after thirty years of employment with the same company. She also had name buttons, so you wouldn't have to whisper, "Now who is that?"
Saturday I pulled into her yard to find a large moonwalk bouncy. She also had goody bags for the kids filled with beach balls, bubbles, sun visors and jump ropes. There was a volleyball net setup in the front yard. I continually thanked her, I mean, I didn't see my kids much, they were busy playing. I actually got to eat in peace! Speaking of eating, the menu was incredible and there seemed to be a never ending supply of catfish, cole slaw, spaghetti, french fries and hushpuppies. We also had pound cake and jamcake. YUMMY!
I usually go to the festival and walk around to find something different and interesting to eat, but this year I walked around to help my food digest. Sunday was much of the same because it was barbeque day...ribs, chicken, hot dogs, bratwursts, bake beans, mac and cheese. My cousin SS even made some cornbread dressing and turkey. Dessert included punchbowl cake, a tasty concoction of yellow cake, pudding, pineapples and whipped cream.
Needless to say, we had a great time. I try to visit and keep in touch with my family throughout the year, but it's always good to see someone physically, give hugs and catch up. The icing on the cake, Aunt Laura wants DQ to spend a week with her this summer! Priceless!
Each year the reunion is hosted by someone in the family. The host is responsible for all PR, food, logistics and activities. My cousin VW requested that the date be moved from Memorial Day to the weekend before because the Crawfish Festival would be in town (Dermott, AR) and that would give us someone to do during the down time. VW was on the ball, we got save the date letters before the end of 2006. We got t-shirt order forms in February. She did a great job of building anticipation. She told us to expect three fun-filled days at her new house.
Because of work related issues, I wasn't able to attend the Friday night festivities, but I heard she had a cake for a cousin who recently retired after thirty years of employment with the same company. She also had name buttons, so you wouldn't have to whisper, "Now who is that?"
Saturday I pulled into her yard to find a large moonwalk bouncy. She also had goody bags for the kids filled with beach balls, bubbles, sun visors and jump ropes. There was a volleyball net setup in the front yard. I continually thanked her, I mean, I didn't see my kids much, they were busy playing. I actually got to eat in peace! Speaking of eating, the menu was incredible and there seemed to be a never ending supply of catfish, cole slaw, spaghetti, french fries and hushpuppies. We also had pound cake and jamcake. YUMMY!
I usually go to the festival and walk around to find something different and interesting to eat, but this year I walked around to help my food digest. Sunday was much of the same because it was barbeque day...ribs, chicken, hot dogs, bratwursts, bake beans, mac and cheese. My cousin SS even made some cornbread dressing and turkey. Dessert included punchbowl cake, a tasty concoction of yellow cake, pudding, pineapples and whipped cream.
Needless to say, we had a great time. I try to visit and keep in touch with my family throughout the year, but it's always good to see someone physically, give hugs and catch up. The icing on the cake, Aunt Laura wants DQ to spend a week with her this summer! Priceless!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Confessions of a Single Mother (pt.2)
About a month ago, my ex called and asked when the kids were getting out of school. I told him LP's last day is May 11th and I would take her to AR that weekend to spend some time with my parents. LB and DQ get out on the 25th and I hadn't made plans for their care yet. He told me that since his mother was with him for a while, I could just meet him halfway and he'd keep them for two weeks. She could watch them while he was at work. How exciting is that?! I didn't get too excited because he and his family are very flaky when it comes to anything, especially the kids. I didn't tell the kids, because I'd been down that road before and seeing them so disappointed is a heartbreaker. So, I was thinking about some of the things I could get done while they were gone. I was making tentative plans with friends and family, reminding them that I wouldn't believe it until the kids were in his car and I was on my way back home.
The call came about a week ago. He was taking his mother to Fort Smith to meet his sister...she was going home. But, she said she is going back, I mean, she left her car at his house. Okay, I wasn't expecting the call so soon, it caught me off guard, but I tried to remain calm. Afterall, I knew it was going to happen. I was upset with myself for even making tentative plans. He said if she didn't come back, all I had to do was take them to her house. His mother lives about twenty minutes from my folks. Don't count on it brother. I'll figure something out.
I called my mom and she said she could come over and stay with us for a couple of days. I really appreciate the gesture, but I feel like the air has been let out of my balloon. I don't have any me time, I need my hair trimmed, I would like to get a pedicure and can I go to the freakin' store by myself?! It would seem that since his mother was a single mother of three, she would understand what I'm going through. It sickens me to think that she would let her feelings toward me affect her relationship with her grandchildren.
So, now I've cancelled all of my plans. I'm trying to work out schedules so that my children will have adult supervision until my last day of work, May 31st. I know my family will come through, they always have. But my kids are not their responsibility and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Single motherhood...but I must admit, I enjoy my peace and the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I guess there's a trade-off in anything.
The call came about a week ago. He was taking his mother to Fort Smith to meet his sister...she was going home. But, she said she is going back, I mean, she left her car at his house. Okay, I wasn't expecting the call so soon, it caught me off guard, but I tried to remain calm. Afterall, I knew it was going to happen. I was upset with myself for even making tentative plans. He said if she didn't come back, all I had to do was take them to her house. His mother lives about twenty minutes from my folks. Don't count on it brother. I'll figure something out.
I called my mom and she said she could come over and stay with us for a couple of days. I really appreciate the gesture, but I feel like the air has been let out of my balloon. I don't have any me time, I need my hair trimmed, I would like to get a pedicure and can I go to the freakin' store by myself?! It would seem that since his mother was a single mother of three, she would understand what I'm going through. It sickens me to think that she would let her feelings toward me affect her relationship with her grandchildren.
So, now I've cancelled all of my plans. I'm trying to work out schedules so that my children will have adult supervision until my last day of work, May 31st. I know my family will come through, they always have. But my kids are not their responsibility and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Single motherhood...but I must admit, I enjoy my peace and the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I guess there's a trade-off in anything.
Monday, May 07, 2007
(Don't) Pass It On...pt.2
A few months ago, I wrote about the passing along of emails that warns that to prove you are a believer, the message must be passed on. I still continue to get those little annoying messages, but yesterday I got the straw that broke the camel's back. I was watching Joel Osteen talk about letting our lifestyles reflect what we believe when my cell phone beeped. I had a text message. Usually, I only get texts from my cousin AF, passing on a joke. But instead of the 253 area code, it was a 414 number. Since I have tons of family that live in Milwaukee, I opened the message ready to read about the latest family news. To my surprise, the message reads, "If you love the Lord and you're glad he woke you up today send this to 10 people and watch what He does to you within a few minutes." Okay, so not only did I have to pay fifteen cents for opening the message, but I was going to have to pay 10 fifteen cents to forward it. I spent the next few minutes wondering who sent it to me than worrying about what might happen if I kept it going. Needless to say, I did not forward the message. But I did go to bed last night wondering if I missed out on winning the Publisher Clearing House sweepstakes.
Seriously, I think we need to take Osteen's word to heart. He explained that we need to live a life that reflects what we believe. Somehow I don't think passing on an email message is proof of my love for God. I think helping someone in need or saying a kind word is much more a testament. I mean think about it, most of the time the people we pass the message on to are believers so what's the point? Talk about preaching to the choir. As believers we are commissioned to go out and spread God's love and I don't think we do that by forwarding email, and now, text messages.
Seriously, I think we need to take Osteen's word to heart. He explained that we need to live a life that reflects what we believe. Somehow I don't think passing on an email message is proof of my love for God. I think helping someone in need or saying a kind word is much more a testament. I mean think about it, most of the time the people we pass the message on to are believers so what's the point? Talk about preaching to the choir. As believers we are commissioned to go out and spread God's love and I don't think we do that by forwarding email, and now, text messages.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Confessions of a Single Mother
I am a single mother. Being a single mom is not something I planned. I always thought that I would have a husband to complete my family. At one time I did have that family, but circumstances beyond my control brought forth my current situation. When I think about those years, I realize I was always a single mother with an adult child as well. I was married, but have always done the child rearing alone. This adult child required the same, if not more attention than the kids and I was sick of walking around on eggshells. His low self-esteem brought much grief to my life and I left because of safety and sanity reasons.
Now that I've been on my own for a little over four years, I must say things have changed, but remained the same. I no longer have to worry about the grief I might get over decisions I make. Now I can simply hang up the phone. I mean, if you don't get off your butt to do something, how can you criticize the person who does?! I don't have to deal with the ex, but his spirit lives on in DQ and that my friends, is enough to drive the most sane person bananas. I mean, who do they think they are that they can tell me what to do and how to do it?! For instance, I took the kids to the park last week, I could walk and they could play. Well, DQ was ready to go, so she followed me and complained. I told her to go have a seat until I was ready to go. Her dad bought her a cell phone for her birthday, so she proceeded to call him and tell on me. Minutes later, my phone rings and he is questioning why I've been at the park for an hour with the kids crying to go home. I quickly informed him that I'm an adult, and just because DQ was ready didn't mean I was leaving. Furthermore, it wasn't his place to call me with questions, he should've been telling DQ to sit tight until I was ready to go. That, my friends is one example of the extremes I have to deal with. Maybe now, some will understand why I had to move. There was no way we could live in the same city.
Many people comment on how well I handle single motherhood and sometimes I explain that I feel like I've always been a single mother. Most of the time I just smile and think to myself of the many nights I'm stressed to the limit wondering about childcare, buying needed clothes and shoes and even about paying for their lunch. In the end, it all works out and everyone has been so supportive. For those who are reading this, THANK YOU!
Now that I've been on my own for a little over four years, I must say things have changed, but remained the same. I no longer have to worry about the grief I might get over decisions I make. Now I can simply hang up the phone. I mean, if you don't get off your butt to do something, how can you criticize the person who does?! I don't have to deal with the ex, but his spirit lives on in DQ and that my friends, is enough to drive the most sane person bananas. I mean, who do they think they are that they can tell me what to do and how to do it?! For instance, I took the kids to the park last week, I could walk and they could play. Well, DQ was ready to go, so she followed me and complained. I told her to go have a seat until I was ready to go. Her dad bought her a cell phone for her birthday, so she proceeded to call him and tell on me. Minutes later, my phone rings and he is questioning why I've been at the park for an hour with the kids crying to go home. I quickly informed him that I'm an adult, and just because DQ was ready didn't mean I was leaving. Furthermore, it wasn't his place to call me with questions, he should've been telling DQ to sit tight until I was ready to go. That, my friends is one example of the extremes I have to deal with. Maybe now, some will understand why I had to move. There was no way we could live in the same city.
Many people comment on how well I handle single motherhood and sometimes I explain that I feel like I've always been a single mother. Most of the time I just smile and think to myself of the many nights I'm stressed to the limit wondering about childcare, buying needed clothes and shoes and even about paying for their lunch. In the end, it all works out and everyone has been so supportive. For those who are reading this, THANK YOU!
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