Once Upon a Time

As most know, I love my job here at Northwest MS Community College. I am the technical services librarian, but in addition to cataloging I enjoy selecting material to add to our collection and teaching orientation classes. I am also active in the Reading Roundtable discussions we host once a month. Reading Roundtable is coordinated by our Director and is open to faculty, staff and folks in the community. I have led two discussions since I started in August 2005 and my third will take place on Monday, February 26th.

The book we will discuss is Once Upon a Time When We Were Colored by Clifton Taulbert. Taulbert was born and raised in Glen Allan, MS and his story brought back to my memory days of growing up in Montrose, AR. As I started the book, I was a bit apprehensive because I knew those times were difficult for African Americans and I really didn't want to get emotional and have to try to figure out a way to disguise those emotions during my discussion. To my surprise, the only emotions that came out during the reading were joy and delight. Sure, times were hard for Taulbert and other Blacks, but he chose not to dwell on that aspect. He chose to write about the strong role models in his life and why he and others of Glen Allan are successful in life. His Ma Ponk reminded me of my grandmother and instead of the picture of her during her last days as she struggled with dementia, I went back and thought about how she was a leader in her family, community and church. His Poppa reminded me of my grandfather who was loved by all and was one of the first Black business owners in Southeast AR.

I laughed out loud as I read about the yearly revival that had him and his friends sitting on the "mourning bench" as the preacher yelled and screamed at them to come to the Lord. I remember sitting on that front pew as Rev. Spencer preached to us and how my sister and I joined church not because we believed Jesus had died for our sins, but because we couldn't bear the thought of having to go through the same thing the following year.

So much in the book reminded me of life in AR and I began to wonder are we really better off today? We have so much, but yet our time is rushed. I remember when time wasn't even an issue, things just moved at their own pace. We seemed to know more about each other when we didn't have email and cell phones, somehow we stayed connected without any gadgets. I remember when kids used to play outside and we actually walked to reach our destinations. Sometimes I reminisce with friends about life when we were growing up. The baseball games, the bike races, hanging out at the "court." It amazes me when my kids say they are bored. I don't remember EVER being bored, there was always something to explore.

I'd forgotten just how grand life was then. Some of the reviews for this book says he is too "syrupy", but I beg to differ. I think he purposely chose to write a book that is uplifting and recalls the good time eventhough times were hard. This book emphasizes that strong bonds in family, faith and community can instill lessons that will last a lifetime.

No Scubs!

Remember the song No Scubs by TLC? They defined a scub as a man who thinks he's all that, but is really a buster. They go on to say he is always the man who is trying to give you a ride, but sits on the passenger side. He lives at home, has no job or car, and has kids but doesn't take care of them. Today is Valentine's Day and I've declared it my theme song of the week. As a single woman, I started dreading this day when I saw the candy, cards, balloons and stuffed animals appear in stores in mid-January. I have talked to a couple of guys in the past few months, but my chance of getting anything is pretty slim. When a friend of mine called last night, I asked if I should expect a gift and his comeback line was, "I get my gift everytime I talk to you." Pretty lame and I explained to him that I was still empty handed. Oh well, I should be used to it by now, this is the third year I've been without. I guess I really shouldn't complain too much because I love the cards that my kids make. They presented me with them yesterday and I was overjoyed that they put so much care in their artwork.

As I look around and see roses being delivered and candy being eaten, I think for a moment, "I want that too!" But then reality sets in and I realize that I'm pretty happy with the flow of my life. I've adjusted to being a single parent and I really don't have the time or energy for another person right now. Sure, I get lonely, but those days come less often. My kids keep me extremely busy and I have enough housework to last until the end of time. I also have my to be read (tbr) stack of books and my nightly tv schedule (love those crime shows). When I'm starved for adult conversation, I call my mom or sister and they are forced to listen to me and my soapboxes.

And so, I titled this entry No Scubs because I have to remind myself that I'd rather be alone than to have a scub in my life. If I have to put up with crap just to say I have someone, no thanks. If it means spending the holidays alone and no gifts, that's great too.

I'll be so glad when this week is over and all the Valentine's stuff is gone. That will give me about seven months to prepare for Christmas and New Year's.

The Breakthough of a Queen

I watched the Grammys last night. Well, most of it. I didn't watch because I wanted to see the Police reunite. I didn't watch because I wanted to see Carrie Underwood sing with Rascal Flatts. I didn't watch because I wanted to see who would sing with Justin Timberlake. I watched because I wanted to see Mary J. Blige win!

Mary J. first entered the music scene in 1992 with What's the 411? Her street edge and unique flavor quickly had us hailing her as The Queen of R & B and Hip-Hop. Mary was real, the girl next door and many of us identified with her, she spoke for us, she was real and honest. Mary's next album, My Life, gave us a glimpe of some of the trouble she was beginning to encounter with her newfound success and she began to lose me as a devoted listner. I would catch a glimpse of her and listen to some of her music, but something was missing. Then around the time she got married, I saw a change in Mary and she grabbed my attention once again. I followed her as she began to change physcially and emtionally. The changes she was making within began to show outwardly.

It was last fall when I first heard, Be Without You and I thought, Mary is back! After I heard that song for the first time, I was in love with it and when The Breakthrough was released, I purchased it immediately and loved each and every song. Mary was telling her story of how she found and fell in love with herself. As Mary began to promote her cd with appearances, I watched her and listened to her tell her story of growing and becoming a better person. I watched her a couple of weeks ago on Oprah and was struck by her candor and knew she is a true Queen.

Last night as she won her Grammy for best R & B song with Be Without You, I cried with her as she spoke about her growth process. Her performances were first rate. I realized she must be a truly amazing person because as Terrence Howard introduced her, his voice was filled with so much emotion and respect.

Go Mary!

Say it Ain't So

My mom has officially retired. When she announced her retirement plans, it was a bittersweet moment. I was excited that she was about to start enjoying life, doing some things she never had the opportunity to do because of her self-employment. I was also a bit sad because her store is an icon in Montrose. It is where I sit for hours and visit with customers and watch in amazement how the little ones grow into adulthood. It is where I grew up and was taught the value of earning an honest living. My sister and I were her employees, so we had to show up for work every weekend. Not only did Flo’s Snack Shop serve as my training facility, it was a family business that had been handed down from my maternal grandparents.

Both of my parents were born and raised in Southeast Arkansas, but like many others, migrated north in search of a better life. My sister and I were born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and spent our early childhood surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. My dad decided he’d had enough of the cold weather and we moved to Montrose in 1978 and it was then that my parents bought/inherited the family business. Flo’s Snack Shop evolved from The North End Café which evolved from Slade’s Grocery. My grandfather, George Slade, was a forward thinking man who believed that self employment was the way to get ahead and get a piece of the American pie. This was evident by watching the business go through many stages as times changed. I guess it is for that reason that I am a bit sad, but not sad enough to carry the torch. I’m quite comfortable working for someone else and the fact that I will get paid regardless of how many kids walk through the library’s doors. My mom and dad have decided to remodel the store and rent it out to people for special events, such as parties. This is great because we have our family reunion coming up in July and the building we’ve rented for the past two is booked the weekend of our event, so we now have an alternate plan. Funny how things work out.

When my parents moved the store next door to their house, there were many neighbors that watched and made sure she was safe. Since that time, Ms. M., Mr. S, Ms. K and Ms D. have passed on and nowadays people just don’t have the concern for others. She has stated how blessed she has been throughout the years that no physical harm has come her way and it is time to let it go. I can understand that. I miss Flo’s Snack Shop, but hey, I have many memories.