Black in America

Well, tonight I've been watching CNN Presents Black in America and it is really interesting. The focus is on the Black Male (missed last when they talked about Black Women and family), Soledad O'Brien is doing a great job of telling the story and experiences of real Black men. Although she has covered many issues, the bottom line is that Black people are just trying to make it just like every other race of people. The difference is that we have challenges that have followed us since we were brought to America in chains. The legacy of slavery is still affecting our lives, how people perceive us and how we interact with one another. Did you know that a majority of employers said they would hire a White man with a criminal record before hiring a Black man with a college degree? Did you know that only 3% of management positions are held by Black men? Did you know that there are over one million Black men in the prison system and most are NOT there due to violent crimes?

This has been an eye opener for me and is a much needed documentary, but I feel that CNN is "preaching to the choir" and those who really misunderstand what it is to be Black in America will not watch it. I commend CNN for trying to educate the nation and provide a candid look at the daily and complex lives of Black Americans.

I grew up in the Midwest for the first half of my life and while there is racism in every corner of the globe, it wasn't as blatant in my world. My sister and I attended a private Catholic school, my friends were diverse and I think we were exposed to much. Then we moved to Arkansas and that was an eye opener for us! The town was segregated, private schools were for Whites only, friendships were segregated. After graduation I attended The University of Arkansas from 1987-1991, a time when only 4% of the student body was Black. I've been talked about for going to U of A, for trying to raise my kids to use correct English, for getting married BEFORE having children, for having my hair cut in layers. O'Brien touched on this isses as well, dealing with racism within the race as well. When will it end?!\

So my take on being Black in America: A constant struggle!

Love Jesus, Hate Church (pt.2)

For the past few months, I've been attending church regularly. I've been going to The Church of the Harvest in Olive Branch, MS. The paster is Bob Thomas and it is a nondenominational church. I really enjoy the praise and worship. I feel that that is what gets our minds ready to recieve the message for the day. I know I need to praise God. Anyway, Pastor Bob always has an uplifting and inspiring message and just finished a series on faith. I love hearing messages that help me in my daily walk. Well, because I've been in Arkansas for the past two Sundays, I've missed my church. On the 25th I attending Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church in Dermott and really enjoyed the sermon. Although it is a Baptist church, they believe and teach many of the principles I believe in and I know that Pastor Lattimore is about teaching his members to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and once that is established one can't help but change.

Well yesterday (against my better judgement) I decided to attend St. Peter Missionary Baptist Church in Montrose. I knew that the pastor is very traditional and doesn't believe women should wear pants to church, etc. I didn't feel like driving to Dermott because I would be leaving to return home the same day, but I just felt I needed to go to chuch. I should've stayed at home! I am still upset about what was said. I am a gum chewer, I chew gum at home, at work and church. I don't chew with my mouth open and I think I chew pretty discreetly. Well, apparently it is disrespectful and out of order in the baptist church. The pastor made it a point to discuss this issue after his sermon. He said it is very disrespectful to sit and chew with your mouth open. There was a young lady sitting in front of me and she immediately took her gum out of her mouth. I had taken mine out right before he said anything about it...because I was tired of it. Out of order, disrespectful? There are a lot more things I can think of that is going on in that church that need to be addressed besides gum chewing!! When are we going to realize that souls are more important than traditions and man made rules?! There are people who have no concept of God, but he is going on about gum.

Maybe I had it coming because I wear pants when I go to that church and I even let my children play their video games. I mean, they don't have a children's ministry because they feel it's just "babysitting." Although mine didn't hear anything that was said because they were gaming, I bet none of the other kids knew what happened either...they played hot seat all during service.

Needless to say, I have no plans to visit that church again! My prayer is that I can get over this and move on, but I just get upset whenever I think of the souls and lives that are not being touched/changed because of nitpicky stuff like that.

Love Jesus, Hate Church.

Patience is a Virture (Right?)

What is going on with Americans these days? Is it me, or does it seem that our patience is getting shorter and shorter? I know we have the drive-thru everything, but what happened to common courtesy? For instance, yesterday I was at the $ Store and was about the third in line, the women at the register bought about $35 worth of merchandise. They were using an EBT card and first had to find it in the purse, then scan it, didn't work the first time, scan it again...had to pay the balance with cash. The total transaction took about five minutes, but you would've thought it was an hour. I could feel the restlessness behind me. People should know by now that when you think you're going to run in and out of a store, that is when the lines are backed up or you get the new cashier. I've learned to give myself plenty of time and just be prepared for whatever comes. So, when it was my turn at the register, I made sure to smile and have a positive attitude. I think the cashier appreciated it.

So, I'm thinking about what has made us so impatient...why are we a society of instant gratification? I mean we want it and we want it now! We have drive-thru everything. Our impatience is growing at an alarming rate...this morning as I dropped DQ off at school there are two lines for the cars and people were constantly switching back and forth, it was nerve wrecking. Let's not even mention road rage.

As I've watched the world around me, I've decided to be a more patient person. I give myself plenty of time to do tasks like grocery shopping, getting from point A to B. I know we are trying to make our days longer by squeezing in as much as we can, but my advice is to SLOW DOWN and enjoy the journey. We are letting the small things take over. The things we think are important probably are not. The older I get the more I realize the value family, friends, enjoying life and just being happy. I find I feel better when I'm relaxed and not rushing around. It feels good to be pleasant to people (especially those in the service sector), they do appreciate kindness and patience. Now don't get me wrong, my quest for patience does not mean that I will be a pushover. There are times when we have to be assertive, but most times we can offer kindness. Being a blessing to others is not always about giving materialistically, but giving of ourselves which includes a smile or a nice word. Think about it...

Finally...

It's May 13th...finally! If I have to watch another campaign ad from Greg Davis or Travis Childers, I think I'm going to puke! Childers and Davis are running for the congressional seat vacated by Roger Wicker who was tapped to replace Trent Lott. Anyway, the smearfest started way back when and the during the first election, neither won more than 51% of the vote, Childers did win the popular vote by a small margin. This is a big deal because it could determine how things play out in November. There is even an article on CNN.com about the runoff. Go figure!

I've been trying to learn where each stands on the issues because if I had to base my vote on the smearfest, neither would get my vote. According to the Republican National Party, Childers is a liberal endorsed by Obama (as a Democrat, why wouldn't Obama endorse him?), he doesn't pay his taxes, his partner is a convicted felon. According to the Democratic National Party, Davis uses tax payer money to furnish a lavish lifestyle, he raises taxes and he doesn't give a flip about the ederly. Why do we love to hear the dirt, but not the issues?! I refuse to distinguish myself as either a Republican or Democrat, I am an Independent voter who chooses my candidate based on the issues.

So, both candidates describe themselves as conservative...what does that mean exactly. I turned to wikipedia and the only thing it defined was conservatism and it is defined as a term used to describe political philosophies that favor tradition and gradual change, where tradition refers to religious, cultural, or nationally defined beliefs and customs. These men who define themselves as conservative running such negative ads--a major turnoff for me. When you really look at the key issues and where each candidate stands they are really not that much different. They both address some issues that the other doesn't and that is where people should base their decision. While both have issues that I don't feel strongly about, there are a few that will determine who gets my vote.

Let the Countdown Begin

Well, it's May which means the countdown is on! Since I am on a ten month contract, my work year is from August 1st to May 31st. I enjoy having June and July to catch up on reading, housework and television. I also do a little traveling to visit family and friends. This year I have several things on the agenda...I'm joined the library challenge to read and blog about three southern books, the books have to be written by southern authors and set in the south. I think for the first I'm going to re-read Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. I read that book for the first time last summer and just fell in love with it, it is a love story that transcends time. I haven't decided what else to read, but I would like to read and post something by and about African Americans. Not only can I relate better to the story, but I would like to share the experiences of African Americans with others in the read/blog group.

My next project is to redo my bathroom. My house is small and about twenty years old and when I bought it I knew it would require a lot of work/projects. I plan to paint, add new decor and possibly redo the flooring. Eventually, I'd like to remove the carpet from the living area and hallway and I think I will test my "skills" by doing the bathroom. I'm sure there will be a post when I undertake the project.

I also plan on making a road trip to Milwaukee this year. My maternal family reunion will be there this year the weekend of July 11-12. My plan is to go about a week and a half earlier and see some sights and enjoy family prior to the big event. I'm sure the visit will welcome a nice break from this southern heat.

So, today is May 5th and that means I have seventeen working days left! I was suckered into going to the zoo with the Senatobia Elementary Kindergarten students on the 20th...I'm sure as I walk around with DQ and another kid I'll wish I was at work. Anyway, this is the last week of class for our students, so I'm sure we will be busy shelving books and answering questions that deal with typing and printing papers. Once finals are over (May 15th) we lock our doors until summer school and I finish up the last minute cataloging and year-end reports and I'm out the door until August! Yippee!!!!

Why I Love the Three Doctors

I'm currently reading The Bond: Three Young Men Learn to Forgive and Reconnect with Their Fathers by Drs. Sampson Davis, George Jenkins and Rameck Hunt and my admiration for these three men has grown tremendously. The three doctors are friends who grew up on the mean streets of Newark, New Jersey and made a pact while still in high school to graduate and pursue careers as doctors. Although times were tough and circumstances could've caused them to quit, their friendship and pact made them persevere and they made it. Two are medical doctors and one is a dentist. They tell the story of how the pact was made and their experiences of medical school in their first book titled, The Pact: Three Young Men Make a Promise to Fulfill a Dream. While working in OKC as a cataloger, I came across this book, read their story and immediately fell in love with their strength and desire to help all children who grow up without a dream. They have also written, We Beat the Streets: How a friendship Pact Led to Success that is geared toward the younger generation. I encourage all to read their story and become inspired as I was.

The Bond is not a unique story in inner city neighborhoods, all three doctors grew up pretty much fatherless. Their story is unique in that they tell their stories and have their father tell theirs as well. Each doctor explains how growing up without a father affected their lives. How they wished they had someone there to support their dreams, take them to extracurricular activities, teach them the facts of life. As you read each story, you'll notice that they all had mentors and examples of strong men in their life, but some of the bad choices they made could have been avoided if their fathers were involved. Sampson explains that just because a father is physically present in the home means nothing. If he is not contributing the development and well being of his children, he might as well be absent. I totally agree, to many times we applaud men for just being there, but they have a responsibility as well as the mother. I know if it had not been for my dad's strong belief in discipline, I probably would not be where I am today. I thank my dad for teaching me to work, save and the ability to take care of myself.
Once Sampson, George and Rameck tell their story, we get to hear their father's point of view. I think so many times we allow our circumstances to dictact our actions or who we become and I feel that is what happened to the fathers of these young men.

I loved the three doctors prior to reading this book because of their vision and dedication to helping the next generations. After reading this book my admiration has grown and they have convinced me to do what I can to make sure all children have a chance. After the fathers tell their story, the three doctors give examples of men that they know who are reversing the cycle and stepping up to the plate to be strong fathers. It is so refreshing to read their words of forgiveness and be reminded that we can make a difference.

Why I Love Being a [Black] Woman

I started a new book, Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America by Charisse Jones and Kumea Shorter-Gooden. It discusses the multiple roles black women have to play in society. This book started as a research project to find out how we deal with and handle those roles. Although I just started, I know this will be a page turner for me. To start, the authors define what it means to shift. Shifting defines how we transform from one role to the other. I think we all do it, whether black or white, male or female. But black women have an added dimension because it is often said we have two strikes: being black and female. I remember the book, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison where the main character wishes she had blues eyes and blond hair and wonder if that is the dream of many little Black girls. I can't relate to that story because I never once had that dream. I've always been proud of who I am and where I came from and try to teach my children the same.

When I think about why that is so, my first thought is that I love being a woman! Sure I complain about the monthly visitor and the pains of childbirth, but I feel so blessed and fortunate to have given birth, a giver of life. I have always embraced my femininity and wonder why being masculine is the in thing for teen girls now. I often have to do a double take while at work, girls with the sagging pants (as if not bad enough on the boys), hats, big boots or tennis shoes. I try not to judge, but good grief...I love to pamper myself. I know some men who pamper themselves with weekly haircuts and shaves, manicures and pedicures, but I love the fact that I don't have to explain my self love.

Being a Black woman is a challenge, but a welcome one for me. I hate the stereotypes, but some are justified. Yes, we have an attitude, but we've had to fight for everything...our freedom, our children, our families, our lives! We are strong and we are survivors. As I think of the women in my family, I see so much diversity...some are meek, some are aggressive, some are homemakers, some are pace setters, some are spiritual, but whatever they are and do, they are fantastic at it.

Black women come in so many shades and sizes...from Halle Berry to Mo'Nique ; from Carol Mosely Braun to Michelle Obama ; from Angie Stone to Beyonce. We are everywhere and our presence is known and felt. Like our brothas, we are loved yet feared. We are trendsetters...from our cornrows to our afros ; from our hip huggers to our stilettos. People stare, but often try to imitate. We don't care what people think of our style, because it's just that...ours!