So for those of you who read my cluck, cluck entry you know that there is a theory that there is a shortage of good Black men, described as the endangered black man, hence EBM. Joan Morgan the author of When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost doesn't think so and neither do I. Maybe it's something that someone invented so that women will lower their standards and just put up with any old crap. I'm new to this area and for a while I was beginning to think that maybe something was wrong with me because I didn't even get a second look from the men around, let alone a "hey baby, are you married?" But after talking with a few people and some of the guys from back home, I've learned the perhaps the problem isn't with me. For instance, one guy told me that if he saw me out with my kids he would assume that I was married or involved and for that reason would not approach me. Okay, that made me feel a tad bit better. Another suggestion was that maybe I intimidate men because all men need to feel like they are needed, afterall, I was reminded, I have a good job, a house and a car. Is there any need for a man? To that I said that if men feel that way, then they are truly twisted.
So I did what any normal person would do...I went to the online personals. My first stop was Yahoo and there are all types of weirdos on there, but I did meet some interesting men. In fact, I still talk to a couple of them. I got frustrated because several never responded to messages and I felt like I was wasting my money. Stop 2 was and still is blackpeoplemeet.com. Now this is where the fun is, I'm having great email conversations with people from all over the U.S. In fact, I've again realized that the world really is small. Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point talks about how closely we're all connected, and I've found that out to be true. One guy lives in Seattle, but is from Greenville, MS (about 30 minutes from my hometown.) Another guy lives in Houston but travels to Atlanta and Birmingham yearly and goes through El Dorado, AR. But I digress, this site is proof that there are still good BLACK men out there. I signed up for this site Monday and as of today, I've had over 200 profile views and I have 85 messages. Granted some of them are scrubs, but for the most part, I think they are good, honest, hardworking men. Even I was surprised with the number of single, never married, no kids 30 somethings. I love reading through the profiles and what these guys look for in a woman, some comments are too deep (even for me), some are amusing and some make you question their sanity. Anyway, I'm just looking for someone to talk to and just have fun and so far so good.
3 comments:
I think it is hard in general to find good men. Of course I'm not looking but I remember when I was looking. Good men were far and few between.
Pardon me for my jaded thoughts here. I think if you get involved with anyone it is a MUST that you get them checked out. Private investigators are necessary in our lives today.
When I thought of marrying Passionfruit I was too young and too strapped for money to hire a PI; however, this did not stop me from snooping. I'm serious. I went into Passionfruit's house while he wasn't there and looked at his financial papers, letters, mail, drawers, closets, bathroom medicine closet. I wanted to know what I was getting. I didn't want to end up sick or sorry. I don't feel bad about the snooping I did. I think it is totally essential.
I totally agree with you. A lot of the guys ask for phone numbers and I don't give those out. I do as much snooping as I can. A lot of them give signs of craziness in the things they say.
I think you should make up a T-shirt:
"Single, but taking applications."
You might get some interesting experiences that way!
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