Why?

I remember the hip hop song by Jadakiss in which he questioned things that are happening in the world around us. I stole his title because I want to question things that are happening in my house. LB is back in Oklahoma with his dad, so I'm left with DQ and LP. LP lately has become a mini version of DQ and that is why I'm about to pull my hair out.

The school year started in early August, so that means DQ is back to her usual social self. She is currently in the 7th grade and Jr. High School is a totally different scene. She no longer wants me to give her any advice on her clothes or hair. I try to think about my Jr. High years, I don't remember an obsession with clothes or hair. I really don't remember much, maybe something awful happened to me and I'm blocking those years out. I do remember finally being able to go to football and basketball games, so when DQ asked me if she could go to the game on Friday, I told her I'd think about it. That is now a closed subject because she lost $20 her dad had given her. Which brings me to my why. Why is she so careless? She said someone stole the money from her backpack which lead to my question, "Why would you put money in your backpack and not your pocket?" Her answer, shrugging her shoulders which only got my blood boiling. She kills me with her laissez-faire attitude about things. She has lost seveal things, including expensive gifts and she acts like it's no big deal. This lead me to go on a tantrum for about twenty minutes which after the first minute she probably heard, "blah, blah, blah." I refuse to buy her anything expensive, because she doesn't value anything. She spent $5 on fingernails at Wal-Mart and they lasted about two hours, a total waste.

My next why is why do I have to tell her to do the same thing every morning? I mean, I wake her up, tell her fifty times to actually get up and moving. I remind her to brush her teeth, wash her face, get her things. Some days I don't say anything just to see if she is going to do it, nope. I can't help but think the way she looks (and smells) is a reflection of me, so I refuse to let her go to school without taking care of personal hygiene, but it's frustrating to no end. I try to explain to her the importance of establishing a routine and I get the eye roll.

My next question is why do I have to go over the importance of reading and studying with her on a daily basis? When she walks through the door, I expect her to sit down at the table and do something for 30-45 minutes, but it's like pulling teeth, especially on the days where there is no homework assignment. I thought my love of reading would continue on with my children, but DQ refuses to do any recreational reading unless it's in the form of a magazine. She speeds through her homework and then it's the phone for the next two hours. I'm going to limit that phone time and make her focus more on her studies. It is my responsibility as a parent and after working in higher education for the past three years I know the importance of having a good foundation. She always says she doesn't want to go to Northwest, but if she doesn't buckle down and earn scholarships, that is where she will be.

Enough about DQ, now on to LP. LP started Kindergarten this year. I was a bit afraid of how she might respond because she has been in a program at Northwest for the past two years. She was one of ten children that recieved a lot of attention and instruction from our students enrolled in the Child Development Progam. I thought the lack of attention might cause problems, but it hasn't. I think bored is the word. They've been in school three weeks and last week her teacher started sending home a behavior chart. Smiley face= great day ; green mark=warning ; = half yellow=missed 1/2 of recess ; entire yellow=missed recess. So, out of twelve days, we have three smileys ; one entire yellow ; one half yellow and the rest green marks. It seems she just loves to talk, she doesn't talk to anyone in particular, she just talks. I explained to her that she has to be quiet and she may be disturbing others and I think she's calmed down a bit. I was relieved to find that all the students have a hard time the first of school and the last of school. Her teache assured me that as they learn the routine she will do better. I think her teacher is tough, but I like tough.

So LP is pretty wiped out at night and we all know what that means...temper tantrums. I just put her in the bathtub and the bed. Mornings are hard, she never wants to get up and she often hides in DQ's room to get a bit more rest. Going the motions with her every morning is okay, she's only five, but the drama has to stop!